What if?

What if I would write here more often?

What if I would not graduate?

What if I would take the leap and move to London?

What if I would just for a day wake up not hating my life?

What if there is no tomorrow?

What if I would actually get amnesia?

What if all those little things matter more than we believe?

What if I had committed suicide all of those years ago?

What if my book would be published?

What if it is all a dream?

What if I would one day become purely happy?

Mine and everyone else’s lives consists of many questions beginning with an ‘What if…’ Lots of those questions are about things we never did in our pasts. Some that we regret not doing, some that would have had a large impact on our lives, and some we feel just not brave enough to do. Whenever we come to a crossroad in our life there will always be created an ‘What if’ since we will never know what would have happened if we had chosen differently. Would it have been worse or better? We will never know and that curiosity wake these questions inside us, some that are absolutely ridiculous yet we can not help them. At night I usually lay awake having all kinds of thoughts and questions, some that are unbelievably overwhelming. Some of those often are questions that has the concept of ‘What would actually have happened if I had done that/What would happen if I would do this?’ Usually out of fear I do not want to know the answer. Although I do realize that it is from challenging ourselves that we progress and evolve as individuals. It has become easier to just nope out a situation than having to face it. This year I am going to 2 concerts on the other side of the country by myself and that freaks me out. And hopefully I will also get enough money to move to London which has been a dream of mine since I was 11 and first got depressed. Even though I find it incredibly scary I also know that the result that I will get will be better than forever having to ask myself ‘What if?’ Instead of asking what could have been we should ask what we can actually do to achieve or goals and dreams.