Can you outgrow your best friend?

For the last 3 years a girl called April has been my best friend. We met a secondary school and will now soon be graduating together since we are in the same class. We used to do everything together. Countless of weekends I have spent at her place, we have been to concerts together in other cities, at times we have taken spontaneous little road trips and we even planed on moving in together. For the time that I have known her she has been the one I have told everything, and she has returned the favor. We have had many common interests yet been rather different in person. She has always been more social than me and has tried to helped me talk to people more. Her methods have been questionable sometimes but mostly they have made me smile. When I was feeling my worst she would be the one I would talk to, the one who’s words would make me feel alright again.

Now to the downside, during approximately the last 6 months she has changed dramatically. She barely talks to me anymore and when she does the whole conversation is entirely about her. The other girls she does not really talk to either, yet she complains about us not socializing with her. What seems to be at any cost, she does not want to spend time with us. The excuses lately are becoming more and more pitiful. Often she blames it on money, that she can’t ‘afford’ to come with us for a hang out. Although she then often post pictures of herself on Instagram and Snapchat eating fancy food at expensive restaurants and cafés. During this period of time she has also stopped caring about her grades. It has come to a point where I and the other girls are genuinely concerned that she might not graduate. Because of that we have tried to help her since she has been talking about graduation since we started secondary school. Yet the respons we get is “I don’t need you help, it doesn’t matter if I fail another subject.”

The only time she ‘talks’ to us is by text and it can be alright, but when you won’t ever talk to someone in person but then have a breakout through text, every time, it becomes tiresome. This year she did not even come with us to celebrate my birthday, it broke my heart by her uncaring blunt respons pretending that everything was alright. In general lately she has become uncaring about everyone’s feelings, she will speak about herself as if her problems are the only ones that matter and at times she is even rude. Having someone who used to be so close to me hurts to see drift away. She was the first person I ever told ‘I love you’ and at the time it got the same respons. A few months ago when I told her that her changing confused me as much that I did not even some days know how to say hello to her I did not even get a respons.

I know very well that I in all probability will not have any contact with her after graduation. And the worst part is, it barely even hurts me anymore. I know people outgrow one another for various reasons, sometimes it is even healthy. It is like when you wear a pair of shoes, after some time they might break or you realize that they do not fit you like they used to. Though it might still be difficult to part from them since they have been with you for such a long time. For old reasons’ sake you may not even want to get rid off them even though you know you should. I do miss the old April though, the one who I used to love, not the one who rejects her friends and treat people poorly, the one who I saw as a sister. 


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