A night as Cinderella?

Last night was my senior prom. People have told us for so long that “It will be a night you will remember your whole life”. But in all honesty, I hope not. There were many factors adding up to me wanting to forget it. First of all, the plan was originally that I was going to go with April but we are not truly friends anymore, and she has been too ignorant to notice. I told her how I felt and went with my friends Jane and Penny instead who both said I should considering April’s behavior towards me. Because of this she has been even worse. Secondly, when I first found my dress I was struck by its beauty though said that I would never wear it. I bought it the next day. Now a few months later I am not fond of it anymore and did not feel comfortable wearing it. It did not help that about 70 people stepped on it almost to the point that it was ripped. Thirdly, going there was challenging since the weather was exhausting and I can not handle heat very well. We also stood in line for 1,5 hours to get inside the hotel were the prom was going to be held. This was not good, I have got orthostatic hypertension mening I can not stand up for too long in the same place. That along with the heat made me almost faint. Due to the heat I also got migraine to the point were I thought I was going to throw up. We finally got inside and got some water to drink before there was a fancy dinner. The food in itself was alright yet because of about 300 people talking at the same time my headache got worse and it was almost impossible to hold a conversation making it rather boring. After the dinner I sat with my friend Dawn, who was feeling even worse than me, to make sure that she was alright and so she would not be lonely. Penny joined us after some time whilst the others were downstairs dancing. Eventually Dawn decided to go home yet she would have to wait about half an hour for her ride where I waited with her. Once she left I went inside to the girls yet I did not enjoy myself at all. I sat down with some other girls in our class pointing out to myself everything that was wrong with me. I could not help myself, after a while I was almost crying as my thoughts got worse. I could not stand it anymore so I called my brother who came to pick me up. As soon as we got home I jumped into the shower to get the hairspray out of my hair. There were no one could see me the tears started running down my face. I do not belong in a place like that, I never will. It made me feel so bad that it even made me considered plastic surgery since I loathe the way I look. The worst part is that I am supposed to do it again next week when I graduate. Last nights experience has made me almost rather stay at home with my mental abusive father than go out and ‘party’ where I feel just as miserable.

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3 thoughts on “A night as Cinderella?

  1. I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience. It sounds like you were very uncomfortable and I understand that it feels like you would rather be in a situation you are used to. We know how to handle those difficulties already even if they are heart breaking. I’m sorry your experience was so bad. You deserve better. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your warm words. I have never fitted in anywhere really, but at home I can at least hide in my room where no one can see me. A place where nobody can judge me with their eyes. However, they do hold balls at university, some annually, meaning that I will be given the chance for a do-over or hopefully a better experience anyhow. I will wish for the best.❤

      Liked by 1 person

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