See through

I never asked for this. Not for any of it. Never did I ask for all this pain. The trauma. The sadness. The madness. The anxiety. The delusion. The self-harm behavior. The suicid attempts. The hatred of this life. Some days I do not speak out of fear that someone will hear how broken I am inside. See through the facade I have built over the years. See through not only to the bad aspects but also the good. Because of the above I never dared asking for anything good to happen in my life. Therefor I never asked for a few close friends. The ability to dream. Creativity. Having a small light of hope.┬áHaving empathy. Losing myself whilst reading and writing. I did not ask for it, yet it was given to me anyway. And therefor I’m grateful. I am hurting right now, maybe I always will, maybe one day I will not. The bad has brought good with it and I often forget that, for these good things are what is dearest to me. Some day someone might see me, perhaps I will too.